The first couple of weeks on the course, once the induction side of things was over, felt quite stressful. Although I would consider myself quite sociable and easy to get along with I struggled with the amount of group work we were given. I think the combination of a new environment, not quite understanding the style of learning and not wanting to annoy anyone was what made it so difficult. In the first two tasks, The way Things Go and Drawing Space we my group remained pretty much the same which meant we were able to get to know each other just enough to complete the tasks and not feel too out of place giving our suggestions and input but by the time we had our trip to Looe I really was ready to just get on with my own thing, which unfortunately wasn’t the case. I remember being frustrated as I was ignored by the group all morning and then made to feel like I hadn’t participated enough in the afternoon. In the end though our sculpture came third which wasn’t a bad end to the day… and I got a new bag from one of the shops which cheered me up!
It was in the first week that I thought I should use a blog to record my work despite my love for sketchbooks. I like having a variety of materials and textures, adding samples and coming up with imaginative ways to display my work. Unfortunately though I have a habit at being over critical and spending too long on the presentation and therefore not actually completing the tasks. At least with a blog it is neatly displayed, easy to edit and it means I can type what I write which helps me to check my spelling and grammar and to not spend forever stressing over my handwriting. I hope that as I get used to the work load, meeting deadlines and have more confidence I will be able to return to put pen/pencil/charcoal/paint to paper. I also recall feeling confused over the structure of the course, it felt like we kept going from one thing to another and which not only made it difficult for me to focus but made it stressful for me trying to figure out how to organise/categorise my work which is still an ongoing battle. I think there are a lot of my peers agree with me on this but perhaps I am overly sensitive to it due to my obsessive compulsive tendencies which is a personal struggle that I am trying to overcome.